Laws of the Natural Universe

[slinkedog]

Don't know if this one has been posted before, but it made me laugh!!

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every
time).

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss
will ask you to do something, which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and
cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you
are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Wilson 's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they
will stop making it.

[Eden]

I have one to add:
The law of red lights and bikes: Pulling your water bottle out of the cage to have a drink at a red light will cause the light to become green- just as you manage to start to take a drink.

try it sometime - this always works with the more finicky lights....

[light_sabe_r]

YES! The red light and bike law. Happened to me yesterday too! ARGH!

[slinkedog]

Yes, that one definitely needs to be added!! I have experienced it myself.

[salsabike]

Those are all absolute facts. Here's one more:

The Law of the Doctor's Office: By the time you get to your doctor's appointment, your symptoms will no longer be observable. Corollary: The next day, or possibly even later that afternoon, the symptoms will return.

[bikerchick68]

OMG... those are hysterical... and somehow PAINFULLY true!

[DebW]

The LBS Peter Principal: By 2 pm, every tool in the shop will be in someone's pocket.

Then you have two choices: (1) if you can see the tool you want, lift it directly from the appropriate pocket (however, fishing expeditions are not allowed), or (2) declare loudly "We've reached the Peter Principal. Everyone empty your pockets." It used to really make some of the guys jump when I would lift a tool right out of their pockets. But no one ever lifted tools from my pockets.

[Trekhawk]

Slinke - Thanks for posting - that is so true and funny.

[Duck on Wheels]

is when the wrong number you dial is your own.
My Mom kept getting a busy signal when trying to phone my brother. So second day she was busy in the kitchen and I said I'd try. "What's his number, Mom?" She rattles off the number and I say "No, that's yours." Head smacks all around. And we got through to my brother.

[margo49]

[QUOTE=slinkedog]Don't know if this one has been posted before, but it made me laugh!!

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

While this has been attributed to sources in the Buddhist Far East it is also known as Gertrude Stein's 1st Law.
Her 2nd Law being : There is no there there

[Clare]

I don't know how to phase this....but have you ever been out riding on a relatively wide country road, and there will be no cars for miles and just when you get to a really narrow portion of the road two cars traveling in opposite directions will pass each other just at that point? It seems to happen to me every time!

Clare

[chickwhorips]

clare there is also the law of two cyclists:

no matter where you are (even in the bush of alaska) if there are two cyclists that meet on the road there will always be two cars, one from each direction, all converging on one spot.

[slinkedog]

[QUOTE=margo49]

Don't know if this one has been posted before, but it made me laugh!!

LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

While this has been attributed to sources in the Buddhist Far East it is also known as Gertrude Stein's 1st Law.
Her 2nd Law being : There is no there there

Don't know who said this, but it's one of my and Blaine's favorite sayings... "You can't get there from here."