The girly bits problem sounds like it might be a Bartholins Gland cyst. I've never had one but have read about them here. I am sure google would provide plenty of information.

Sorry about all your aches and pains! I have had some minor residual soreness all over after centuries but nothing quite as serious as yours. The shoulder thing sounds partcularly strange. Have you had a good bike fitting?

Hope you heal up soon!

Emily