OT: Quitting the Rat Race

[tygab]

This is such an interesting topic I don't even know where to begin....

I am 34, and am in the tech (computer) industry. I went to college with the intent of becoming a wildlife biologist. The most fun I've ever had in a job was as an assistant to a biologist. I got to drive around in a Bronco, and interact with wild animals (a little more complex than that but that's what it felt like). That was the best!

To make a long story short, after school I needed a pay the bills job and I'd worked in the university's computer labs as part of my aid package. This was at the time when the public was just catching on that this thing called the Internet might be really interesting and change how we live and communicate. So, I went to work for a small local ISP, an have been in tech ever since. There have been several times along the way I have wondered why I was doing what I was doing, what my life purpose is, most importantly how I could get outside more and do something I love to be doing. Earlier on I told myself I would save up money and position myself to be able to do something more personally satisfying, most likely an outdoors or environment related job. A few years ago I started formulating a plan after getting so stressed out that I had to go to the ER for an irregular heart beat (turns out to be a very manageable situation and not a problem, just very disconcerting when it happens). And I had been getting migraines from stress too.

It will take maybe 5 or 6 years to be able to make the true shift, and I'm in year 2 now. But in the meanwhile, I was not sure how I could deal with being in the large company environment which was driving me nearly insane.

So... I have just left the huge company (10,000+) for a small company (100). It cuts down my commute from 45 minutes one way (which was at non-rush hour times to avoid traffic... if I had to go at rush hour that could easily be 1hr 15) to 15 mins. I take regular roads, not jammed up highways. I can go to work at the same hours others do. I can even bike if I get up the nerve to because it's only 10 miles (no showers at work tho and so far I am still too chicken too because of traffic volume ). And I am trying *VERY* hard to make sure my new job does not sprawl into unreasonable hours and homework, things I did not do well previously.

I joined a gym about 2 mins away from the work by car, so I can work out on inclement weather days which we get plenty of or at least will. The office park has lots of paths and an area with a basketball court (too bad I am not interested in basketball). A fair number of people use the paths to run or walk. I've even seen some lunchtime cyclists but I don't know how to reach them (not in my building) to join. I have been trying to be good about running or biking, outside or indoors @ gym, at least 3 times during the work week, and taking a walk on the paths on non exercise days. I have met up with the local cycling club for after work rides a few times too. Side note, I am curious to know if the paths get shoveled in the winter - if they don't, I'll be snowshoeing at lunch - woohoo! I have also been drinking more water, eating better food, and trying to sleep more (actually my biggest weakness, not sleeping enough). And I try to do fun things on the weekend.

Bottom line to all this is most of my stress comes from the work environment, so I realized that as long as I was going to be working for a corporation, which I need to be for the time being, I better find ways to keep my perspective and not get wrapped around the axle. Hopefully, these things will work in the short term.

Long term, there are still a few wildcards in the plan of course... my husband and I still have to figure out some big questions like: kids & when, as well as where we will plunk ourselves down when it's all said and done. He DID go to school to be in the tech industry, and wants to stay in it... so that puts some constraints on things. I'd love to live in the middle of nowhere otherwise... And plans are always just that - this year has taught us that just when you think everything is rolling along, something happens that you did not expect. We know other things may require plan modification along the way. But at least we have something to work toward.

anyway I write all this because it always helps me see these goals in real words, so maybe in a few months I can use it to remind myself if I'm going off course. Also because maybe there are some ways some of you can find to bring down the stress levels in your own lives. The commute change alone has been TREMENDOUS. And being at a small company also is a completely different dynamic.

[deena]

Last year sometime my family (me, DH ,and 3 kids) visited some friends of ours who had just moved into a half-mil house with all the extras. When we got home the kids envied everything - everything. I told the kids we could have all of those things too and their eyes got huge at just the thought of it. I said I would go out the next day and get a 50 hour a week job, they could go to daycare until I got home everyday, and that when my job transfers me across the country we would move three times in high school just like our friends did. THAT changed their perspective.

I have been a SAHM and a working mom. When I am working I miss fieldtrips and concerts, when I am not working we can't order out for dinner or go to the mall. There's a sacrifice either way. I do know my family is much happier when we are making our own choices, not comparing to ourselves to others.

[velogirl]

First, I want to echo a lot of what Susan said -- I work more hours than I ever did; rarely take a day off; work nights, weekends, and holidays; make much less money; have no benefits or retirement; my office is in my home so work is always there -- but I LOVE WHAT I DO!!!

My career change was pretty serendipitous. I have a BFA in theatre management and I managed professional theatres for 13 years. I also have an MBA. I made the transition to corporate America and worked for a start-up (laid off in 4 months) and then a large investment banking firm (laid off in less than 2 years). I had planned to spend the rest of my career with the investment banking firm, so I was in a bit of a tizzy. As part of my severance (which was very, very generous) I received funding to go back to school for two years.

I was pretty lost without a job/purpose. This was in 2001 in Silicon Valley when the bottom fell out. No one was hiring. I couldn't even get an interview. I was a project manager and since there was no funding for projects there was no need for project managers. I fell into a deep, dark depression. And, to make matters worse, I'm single and I don't live with anyone. Not only don't I have someone else to depend on for finances, but I didn't have anyone to be socially responsible to -- if I didn't feel like getting out of bed on a given day, I didn't.

Long story short, I went back to school only because I got to go free, I had nothing else to do, and I realized if I didn't do something I'd probably have a nervous breakdown. I studied exercise physiology and decided I wanted to focus on cycling and helping women achieve success through their accomplishments on the bike.

Without savings, without a retirement fund, without a car (I sold it to pay the mortgage), I founded Velo Girls in 2002, hung out my shingle as a cycling coach, and also did some part-time work at a local college in the adaptive fitness program. To make ends meet, I taught 14 spinning classes a week (crazy).

I later decided working part-time at my local bike shop made more sense than teaching classes at four different gyms (and included health insurance). For a while I did both (spinning and lbs), but found it difficult to focus on my coaching (my new career) while I was working so many hours. That's one of the ironies of starting your own company. It takes time to make money. But, you need money, so you work other jobs, which takes away your time.

It was seriously tough for a year -- I almost lost my house. It was still tough during year two. During years three and four I could finally pay all my bills and quit worrying so much about money. Now, in year five, I'm finally thinking about paying down some debt I incurred to start-up my business and potentially paying into a retirement fund (but maybe not -- more on that below).

I don't have a lot of the expenses I had when I worked in the "real world." My commute is non-existent and I don't have parking expenses. My wardrobe is much simpler now (but sometimes I think cycling clothes are just as expensive as business suits). Because I don't work in San Francisco anymore, my social life has changed significantly (saving me lots of money). I have to think about major purchases before making them. But I splurge for fresh flowers every week (another story).

I survived on a wing and a prayer. I don't recommend anyone try what I did. It was totally crazy, but I've always done crazy stuff. Somehow, my business has succeeded even though there were lots of folks in the cycling community that thought it was a stupid idea (men, of course). I have a bit more free time to focus on creating new programs. And I'm finally not worried about money anymore.

There are lots of things to consider if you start your own business, especially one in your home. From the expense pov, you've got a computer, office supplies, software, computer support (I sure do miss the IT department), and other office type expenses. You might also contract folks to complete parts of the business for you (ie accountant, web developer, computer folks, graphic artist, etc). I didn't have a very good infrastructure set up before I started -- my "office" consisted of a laptop on the kitchen counter. I highly recommend getting your office (computer, desk, filing, storage, etc) set up before you begin.

Regarding retirement, I have a different opinion than most of you, I assume. Both of my parents died relatively young. I've survived some serious health issues of my own. I don't assume I'll have a long life. I would rather live my life now than save money and hope I'm still alive at 60. I figure I've always gotten by somehow, and if I make it to 60 I'll figure it out then too!

[Dogmama]

Velogirl,

Amazing story. Thanks for sharing it!

[Livin the Dream]

I've enjoyed reading through this thread. I appreciate all of the insight people have shared. Here are my thoughts, for what they're worth....

I've had a FT job since I graduated from High School; I spent 10 years as a single Mom and earned a BA and an MA while working full time. Most of my working life has been spent in the corporate world; several years ago I was feeling VERY burned out and was exploring options everywhere from owning my own business (which I decided against for many of the reasons Susan so eloquently pointed out) to talking DH into selling everything and moving somewhere where we could live on basically nothing. God heard my cries of frustration, because I was given the opportunity to work for an academic institution, from home, for a few years. The job itself wasn't a "keeper", and working from home isn't for me, but it gave me the opportunity to step back from the corporate world and regain some sense of balance. I recently went back to work for a company I worked for several years ago and I've returned with a much better perspective, attitude, and a strong sense of what is important to me to keep my life in balance. For me, balance is the key. Not many of us have the stomach for risk or the means to just quit the "rat race" and start completely new. But, I believe we all have the ability to make small changes that will allow us to move our life back into balance and get our life to a place where we spend some time working (SAHM, work at home, or work outside the home), some time playing and recharging, and some time doing things for others.

My next challenge is facing DH's retirement. We'll see if I can maintain my newly-found perspectives! I've been remarried for a number of years; DH is older (He's 61, I'm 44) and will retire next year. My goal (and my employer is supposedly on board with this), is to transition to some type of less-than-40 hrs/week and/or flexible schedule to allow DH and I to travel and spend time together. (After he gets all the housework done!) This is important to me because the reality is, if we wait until I'm old enough to retire in the traditional sense, we'll miss the opportunity to travel, ride bikes together, etc. due to his age. So, for us, this will mean taking a hard look at what we can live without and what "spends" are important to us. This may mean that grandkids may not get as many gifts, etc. It will require making some hard choices, but I'm hopeful that we can carve out a life that makes us both happy!