Dear So and So

[Dogmama]

Dear Student,

If you have gotten to your fourth year at this prestigious university and you still don't know the course catalog from the class schedule, you need more than a phone call to me (rather than your own advisor) to help you register for classes.

I am surprised you haven't flunked out yet.

Around here, even grad students need to be spoon fed.

Sometimes they surprise you by walking upright....