Dear So and So

[yellow]

Dear Half of Salt Lake:

HANG UP THE F****** PHONE AND DRIVE!

Better yet, get out of your car and see what it feels like to be a pedestrian or a cyclist trying to navigate the city.

(I apologize if this has been posted before. I couldn't find it and frankly needed to vent. I feel better now. )

[Lise]

Dear Half of Salt Lake:

HANG UP THE F****** PHONE AND DRIVE!

Better yet, get out of your car and see what it feels like to be a pedestrian or a cyclist trying to navigate the city.

(I apologize if this has been posted before. I couldn't find it and frankly needed to vent. I feel better now. )

Yellow, during my brief sojourn in your adopted city, I noticed how many people were almost exceedingly polite. You might wear a t-shirt while biking that reads: Talking on the phone while driving is rude! That should solve the problem pronto. Good luck with all that, though, really. We suffer from the same thing here in the Windy city. L.

[Tater]

Dear A$$clown driving the minivan with license plate 1A GL686:

Yes, you Egg-McMuffin sucking, knuckle dragging Neanderthal*, I did get your license plate. Ya know what, so did the Ada County Sherrif's office. See the Boise area police departments decided to crack down on aggressive drivers earlier this summer. Particularlly the ones that like to tailgate, weave in and out of traffic, or cut people off for no particular reason. You fit the last catagory to a tee. As we were coming up to a red light, you had no business gunning the engine to get around me so you'd be the first one in line. You cut back into the lane so close that I came thisclose to ramming my front tire up your muffler. But yet you looked back in wonder as to why I yelled out "B!@#$" and the guy in the next lane honked at you? There were two lanes for truning left, you could have easily stayed in the far left one, as there wasn't any traffic over there. That's okay though. Just be aware that your actions are noted now and if you continue to drive like an a$$, one of Boise's finest may just be paying you a visit. Think again before cutting anyone off, especially a cyclist before she's had her morning oj! Have a nice f'ing day.
Signed,
The really p!ssed commuter

*Not that there is anything wrong with being an Egg McMuffin sucking, knuckle dragging Neanderthal!

[mimitabby]

Dear Bratty 20 something that
scared the crap out of me when you passed me too closely on my way home from work yesterday.
it was really nice of you to say that you were sorry after I caught up to you and let you know that you didn't give me enough room but it really pissed me off when in the next sentence you dared to suggest that i should have been on the sidewalk.
Didn't you learn anything about street safety when you learned to drive, which had to be less than 10 years ago?
didn't they teach you to give the r ight of way to pedestrians and bicyclists
so you don't KILL THEM?
Would you have told a little old lady with a cane the same thing about being on the sidewalk?
Have you noticed what the sidewalks LOOK like on the streets where you passed me? Most of them are not safe for pedestrians OR bicyclists because of the blackberries, weeds and road debris on them!
What is a really handy feature of the sidewalks in our neighborhood is that they aren't even always THERE! So again, thanks a lot.
I hope the next time you pass that close to a bicyclist it's an aggressive male and he keys your car.
have a nice day!
mimi

[fixedgeargirl]

Dear Potential Bike Date,

Did I scare you when I told you I have a child? Or are you just busy and haven't had time to answer my email? I'm going to go think positive thoughts and remind myself that I must be true to myself as I enter the dating pool for the first time, well, ever.

Realizingthisaboutmenotyou,

fixedgeargirl

[mimitabby]

Dear Fixedgeargirl
how crummy. Well, the good news is, if it's about you having a kid,
better find out now than later. The other good news, there's lots of really nice
guys out there well, not lots, but there are a few good men out there. Good luck i hope you find one soon!
mimi

[Bikingmomof3]

Dear Potential Bike Date,

Did I scare you when I told you I have a child? Or are you just busy and haven't had time to answer my email? I'm going to go think positive thoughts and remind myself that I must be true to myself as I enter the dating pool for the first time, well, ever.

Realizingthisaboutmenotyou,

fixedgeargirl

If he cannot handle you having a child, he is not worth your time. It is best to find this out now. I know it does not help much right at this moment because you were looking forward to this and it still may be okay. If you do not hear back from him, then he was not deserving of you.

[chickwhorips]

stupid bike date guy!

[Kitsune06]

Dear DGF's parents:
Hate to say it, but you have to grow up.
Your oldest daughter is almost 30 and still terrified of the thought that you might find out she has a gf. Is this your fault or hers? No real matter, but I admire how stringently your adhere to your religious and moral objections to others' rights and freedoms. Still, God so help me, when I feel ready and able to have a child of my own; if my dear little girl (or boy) decides to be (whatever their orientation might be) then I'll be happy for them as long as they're happy. I hope I never live to make my kids afraid to tell me important things about themselves and their lives. If I think I'm responsible and adult enough to foster another blossoming life, then I better d*mn well be responsible and adult enough to accept their lives as being their own, and their happiness as important to them first, regardless of whether or not it 'pleases' me, as long as they're not hurting themselves or someone else.

Parents like you prove the wisdom my mom passed on one night: "Everyone tries to do better by their kids than was done by them... I try, but I hope you take all your observations, wait til you're 30 so you know where you are, and then do the better by your kids- then send them home so I can spoil them."

DGF will be a brilliant mom...
but her kids will never have to be afraid of what they can or can't tell their mom.
-Best regards,
Someone who loves your little girl

[mlove]

Dear Student,

If you have gotten to your fourth year at this prestigious university and you still don't know the course catalog from the class schedule, you need more than a phone call to me (rather than your own advisor) to help you register for classes.

I am surprised you haven't flunked out yet.

[Bluetree]

Dear crazy rich lady in Santa Barbara,

Thank you so much for the kind words regardng my work as an equine artist.

Please be aware, however, that I work exclusively with horses, not dogs. While I am flattered that you are willing to double my fee to make an exception in your case, I am afraid that I cannot do so.

I am aware that you have lost a dear friend in your Shih Tsu. I, too, have grieved over a lost pet. However, I have never taken it so far as to have my dearly departed canine freeze-dried. Yes, I will take your word that Muffy looks quite real in her mummified sleeping position. I believe you when you tell me she doesn't smell. However, the thought of someone sending me their dead dog via Priority Mail so I can paint her likeness is, well... a bit morbid.

Might I suggest that there are better things to do with your time and money? Perhaps volunteering at your local animal shelter will help ease some of the pain in your loss.

Again, thank you for inquiring about my services. Perhaps we can speak again when you acquire a horse. Preferably a live one.

Warmest regards,
Joy

[fixedgeargirl]

Dear Potential Bike Date,

Okay, so I'm a little antsy. Thanks for the return email. You are not frightened by my motherhood. This is good.

Signed,

Butterflies in my tummy

[Bikingmomof3]

Dear Student,

If you have gotten to your fourth year at this prestigious university and you still don't know the course catalog from the class schedule, you need more than a phone call to me (rather than your own advisor) to help you register for classes.

I am surprised you haven't flunked out yet.

OMG, this sounds like something my husband (a chemistry professor) would have written. He will be pleased to hear he is not alone in being frustrated with students.

[Bruno28]

While I am flattered that you are willing to double my fee to make an exception in your case, I am afraid that I cannot do so.

I have a recently departed hamster - well I say 'recently'...are you sure you couldn't just make one exception.....(sound of crazy laughter fading into the distance).

[chickwhorips]

I am aware that you have lost a dear friend in your Shih Tsu. I, too, have grieved over a lost pet. However, I have never taken it so far as to have my dearly departed canine freeze-dried. Yes, I will take your word that Muffy looks quite real in her mummified sleeping position. I believe you when you tell me she doesn't smell. However, the thought of someone sending me their dead dog via Priority Mail so I can paint her likeness is, well... a bit morbid.

as a postal worker in my spare time, i would not like to see this come through the mail! besides if you were to make one exception, just this one time, wouldn't a picture work too?

and who in their right mind freeze dries a pet?