OT: Quitting the Rat Race

[Bikingmomof3]

Do I have regrets? I am not sure if I would call them regrets. I do have moments where I want to throw up my hands and tell everyone to kiss my well booty to put it nicely. Sometimes I want to go back to work so I can get a break.
The problem with being a SAHM, is that everyone thinks you have all the time in the world, and that your life is so easy, yada, yada, yada. Well, this is the hardest job I have ever had. Also the most under appreciated job!!

Oh how well this SAHM understands. I keep telling DH I need a vacation-alone-he does not get it.

[eclectic]

I am living simpler life more by necessity than choice. I have 2 kids in college with one of them still living at home. They pay for a lot of their own expenses but there a still some I take care of for them. Once they turned 18 all child support was cut even though they were still at home.

I am fortunate in the fact that I am a teacher so I was home with my kids when they were home and I take the summers off because I choose to live simpler.

A lot of my priorities have changed. I used to golf 2 or 3 times per week which got pricey now I bike which is free (after all the equipment purchases

I have discovered that Bike tours are a great and inexpensive way to travel (when within driving distance) and you get to see the country in a new way
Last years vacation: a 5 star all inclusive resort on the Riviera Maya - this years 7 nights in a tent on a bike tour. I'll do the tent again next year just in a different state

I decided I don't watch TV at all so I cut cable.(I advised my son if he really wants it he can hook it back up and pay for it - so far no TV I work at a school and the library has some great reading material so no book purchases.

My clothes shopping has been reduced to a minimum and I always shop clearance. After wearing spandex in public I am not quite so fashion conscious

I ride my bike to the grocery store and to do simple errands.

I have a couple of part time jobs which are flexible that I work if I want some extra money for trips or more bike goodies.

Entertainment is a lot of house parties where the meal is potluck around a theme.

I was amazed at how much money can be saved when I sat down and really looked at how important things were in my life. Cell phones, high speed internet (still a priority) new vehicles, redecorating, travel, dining out.

Just cooking a little different can save a lot of money

I took a lot of lessons from my sister and bro-in-law who raised 5 great kids on a very minimal salary. I never once heard those kids whining because they felt deprived.

[Quillfred]

I work in a profession where I worked long and hard schedules which made it hard to "have a life" for many years.
I wouldn't say that I quit the rat race but I have slowed the treadwheel down some. I was working mandatory overtime every week with weekends off, but I was exhausted on Saturday and did little.

Requests for a schedule cut back were initially denied, but it got to the point were it was cut-back or quit. I now have Fridays off (4 day work week) and the length of my days have been trimmed too. My constant back, shoulder and neck aches are mostly gone. I know I am very lucky. Also a few years ago I took a huge pay cut to work at the current job. Although I work hard, I can really say I enjoy my job and the dysfunctional atmosphere of my prior job is gone.

I am spending less money on things that are unimportant now because largly, spending was a way to cope.

[li10up]

Does anyone have any specifics as to how they managed to live (happily) on less income?

Hopefully our house will be paid for by the end of the year and our only other debt is a car. Seems like I should be able to move to a simplified life ...read here, less stressful job. My DH doesn't get it. He is one of those people who thinks your life is defined by what you were able to accomplish. That's hard for me to grasp especially since he is a cancer patient. At this point I would think he would have the opposite opinion - that life is more about living it with family and friends, not how high you can climb on the corporate ladder. Over the years I've come to realize that I don't want or need to be "somebody." I just want a roof over my head, food on the table, health insurance, and enough money to be able to enjoy life.

[Cassandra_Cain]

Oh how well this SAHM understands. I keep telling DH I need a vacation-alone-he does not get it.

I dont have kids, but I can say this with confidence - you haven't worked full-time until you've been a SAHM. There is no break, no pat on the back, no 5 o'clock whistle. Now that's full-time work.

[Bikingmomof3]

I dont have kids, but I can say this with confidence - you haven't worked full-time until you've been a SAHM. There is no break, no pat on the back, no 5 o'clock whistle. Now that's full-time work.

No, there is no break at all. What amazes me is just how much more work the boys become the older they get. I made it through each stage telling myself it gets easier-it does not. I may complain occassionally (alright a lot ) but i all seriousness I would not do things differently...well maybe a mental break now and then would be nice....

[Cassandra_Cain]

No, there is no break at all. What amazes me is just how much more work the boys become the older they get. I made it through each stage telling myself it gets easier-it does not. I may complain occassionally (alright a lot ) but i all seriousness I would not do things differently...well maybe a mental break now and then would be nice....

mental break eh? I hear ya

But then, coming here helps - a little at least right?

[RoadRaven]

No, there is no break at all. What amazes me is just how much more work the boys become the older they get. I made it through each stage telling myself it gets easier-it does not. I may complain occassionally (alright a lot ) but i all seriousness I would not do things differently...well maybe a mental break now and then would be nice....

Hi there... with 5 kids can I assure you it does get easier - a different kind've 'hard' but certainly easier in terms of demands...

Example, my two oldest are 18 and 17...
I, my partner and the 15 1/2 year old went racing today, leaving the 12 and 10 year olds in the older kid's care.

All went well, the dinner is cvooked, the clean washing folded and half of the dishes done.

As well - the three boys went out the back for a while making huts and building bear traps while my 18yr old got on with her homework.



Re the RAT RACE topic of this thread -
Cycling is my escape from the rat-race - I am very much interested in quitting my job - I'm sick and tired of the proverbial 'rat-race'
But I am stuck racing with the other rats til my youngest finishes school - my job helps pay for the petrol costs of running the kids in to High School.

[mtbdarby]

Good timing.

I just met with a volunteer business person to help me start the process to becoming my own boss. I am very much frustrated with my job, unhappy with the direction of my life and wish to make changes and have more control over my future income than some guy in a corner office.

I have hired a life coach to also guide me and help me take a deeper look within to find where the frustration is truely coming from. Am I quitting the rat race? Not so much as changing the division I'm in . I want to live this life more on my terms and look forward to each day (especially if I can bike to work!) instead of dreading going to a high stress job. I'm a single mom just dieing to find a way to earn a living where I can spend more time with my wonderful son instead of having him spend 10 hours a day at daycare. I have a dream to be able to drop him off at school in the morning and pick him up at the end of day. That shouldn't be too much to ask for, just a little harder to achieve without a SO at home to help me get there. But I will, of that I am sure!

[Susan Otcenas]

I just met with a volunteer business person to help me start the process to becoming my own boss. I am very much frustrated with my job, unhappy with the direction of my life and wish to make changes and have more control over my future income than some guy in a corner office....
I want to live this life more on my terms and look forward to each day (especially if I can bike to work!) instead of dreading going to a high stress job. I'm a single mom just dieing to find a way to earn a living where I can spend more time with my wonderful son instead of having him spend 10 hours a day at daycare. I have a dream to be able to drop him off at school in the morning and pick him up at the end of day.

Please don't think I'm beating up on your thoughts here, but I have to hop in.

Before starting Team Estrogen, I was a vice president and commercial lender at a community bank. I specialized in small business lending - SBA lending in particular. Your reasons for wanting to start your own business (ie. be your own boss, more control, less stress, spend more time with family...) are the same as many of the clients I worked with at the bank.

Did you know that 4 of 5 small businesses fail in the 1st 5 years?

I think it's because many people start businesses wanting just those things, without realizing that you RARELY get those things when you start a business. What you actually get is long hours, more stress (no one else to fall back on), less time off (who else is gonna do it if you aren't there?), less money (because nascent businesses need capital to grow and rarely produce any good cash flow when just getting started), no mental break (since small businesses are usually started in your home and you tend to find yourself drifting in there at all hours of the day and night when work needs to be done), etc.

Team Estrogen is now more than 8 years old. I have a 7 person staff, a rented warehouse that is busting at the seams, and a 12,500 square foot commercial building under construction. At the end of 2004, Jeff & I took our first vacation in 4+ years. I work far longer hours than I ever worked at the bank, and 12 hour days are typical. And usually one weekend day to boot. I have no children, no pets and no house plants. I couldn't possibly find the time to keep any of them alive.

I often receive emails from folks, especially women, asking me about how we've succeeded in growing our business, and looking for advice on how to grow their own. And I've mentored several small local businesses, especially in their first year or two. But I always make sure they truly understand what they are getting themselves into, and ask them to take a long hard look at what exactly they think they will get out of it.

Sure, you can own your own business and put in far fewer hours than I do. But most people can't work those kinds of hours and still make enough money to support all the things they want to do with their free time and all the stuff they think they want to buy for themselves and their loved ones. So they work more hours and discover that they've just traded one rat race for another.

When you work for someone else, you get your allotted vacation days, your health insurance, your 401K plan, your sick days, and your paycheck just like clockwork. When you work for yourself, you get none of those things unless you buy 'em for yourself, and you find enough clients/customers to pay the bills.

So, would I change the choices I made for myself? Heck no. I love this business we've built & I'm proud of it. I love my customers and I'm happy I can provide jobs for my fabulous staff, without whom this business would be nothing. But boy oh boy, I would sure love to take a few weeks off and ride my bike somewhere, without having to think about servers and inventory and taxes and payroll, etc, etc. I'm far less free to just take off than I ever was when I worked for the bank.

So, explore the idea of owning your own business. Please, just be sure you truly go into it with your eyes wide open, understanding that it comes with it's own set of sacrifices.

Best,

Susan

[wannaduacentury]

I haven't quit the rat race, but try to simplify it, if possible. dh wants to quit in 5 yrs or so after the house is paid off. But recently, I changed jobs and pared down my life some. I left a retail job I've been at 8 yrs(it was a decent job-burned out ) and I gave up some hard earned vacation time, But I've gained alot of peace-of-mind. I actually have more time w/ my 10 yr old dd, I can finish my college degree and get better grades(I worked f/t and college p/t) keeping my head above water grade wise. I can go to church and work won't interfere, and join some community things I've been wanting to do. I know everyone can't do what I've done financially b/c everyone is different, but find ways to simplify-Its worth it.