OT: Men mean well sometimes.

[KSH]

Well, thanks for all the positive comments. I do appreciate it.

Trust me... I'm not THAT upset about it. I'm really an easy going gal who lets a man get away with a lot (not cheating, but you know what I mean)... I don't typically get irked at the small stuff.

And, I didn't ASK for my age to be guessed. I stopped that a long time ago. Either 1) they guess really low to compliment you... or 2) guess your age... either way, it's not good. So, I don't bring my age up.

I know they mean well. It's from a good spot... I know that. I just though it was funny how my boyfriend thought working out/losing weight (HA! like that is going to happen!) would fix my wrinkles somehow?

Of course, this is coming from a 28 year old man (yes, he's 5 years younger than me- but he acts like he's 40).

Oh well... men will be men. And if it's the worse thing I have to complain about... with my man... then it's not that bad.

[Nanci]

BF once told me "Well, you're no beauty queen." French ex BF told me my experiment with thong underwear made me look like a Sumo wrestler. Oh, he's also the one that told me I smell like tuna (after eating it) and couldn't understand why that was offensive. And then started calling me his Big Tuna. And when I didn't like being called a big anything, then started calling me his Little Feather, but in a sort of sarcastic way. I haven't had a complimentary BF in a long time...

Edited: it was beauty queen, not fashion model.

[colby]

BF once told me "Well, you're no fashion model." French ex BF told me my experiment with thong underwear made me look like a Sumo wrestler. Oh, he's also the one that told me I smell like tuna (after eating it) and couldn't understand why that was offensive. And then started calling me his Big Tuna. And when I didn't like being called a big anything, then started calling me his Little Feather, but in a sort of sarcastic way. I haven't had a complimentary BF in a long time...

A friend of mine had a boyfriend who called her a literal "pet name"... walrus. Walrusy walrus. My cute little walrus. Hey walrus! I love you walrus. Not joking. She's not a small girl, but... walrus? What an odd choice.

We were seniors in high school, and he had graduated 1-2 years ahead of us. When we went to prom, he went with her, and she wore this pink chiffon kind of dress (she's a girly girl). At dinner, when the waitress came to take our order, he said "she'll have the all you can eat trough" (he had been referring to her dress as "like Miss Piggy's dress" all night).

She was with him for several years, must have been 4 or 5 total. Afterward, she went on a rant one night about him, and it ended with "I can't believe I let someone call me WALRUS!!!"

Back on topic (how can you go off topic in an off topic thread anyway?): I could hear myself having the same conversation with my husband. Sometimes just to keep them talking, instead of "uhh... no" I'll say something like "well that's possible, but I don't think so, wouldn't that just...?" to keep asking them questions so they think they are solving problems which is what their brains always want to do.

[mimitabby]

Walrus? Rodent eyes?
I am SO lucky.

A long time ago my husband called me something because he thought i liked it.
It was really dumb. okay; you guys are all being honest..

he called me his pumpkin pie!
I said
"Why did you call me that?"

he said "I thought you liked it"
well, yes, i like pumpkin pie.....

[chickwhorips]

i agree. significant others! sheesh. sometimes you gotta wonder what's really going on in their head.

bf will respond to questions they way he isn't suppose to, and i know he's joking (he better be joking) but i tell him thats not what a good bf would say. i know what he means, i don't ask him how stuff looks unless i expect a smart a$$ response.

[RoadRaven]

OK... here's something kinda twee, but I thought it was a really nice take on wrinkles...

It was one of "those" emails that clog your inbox and seem to come back every 8-10 months...

It was the first time I have seen this one... but no doubt it will arrive again.

Here's the bit I liked...

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

Isn't that a great way to think about wrinkles - its so true - all my happy times and memories - right there on my face for everyone to see how lucky and blessed I have been!

I'll paste it in its entirity below...




Old age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body ... the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4am., and sleep till nonn?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's and 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten . and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free.

I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

[Nanci]

(I forgot what I was going to say!!)

Oh, my mom and dad's term of endearment for anything was Punkin Pie. I even call Dillbird Punkin Pie Bird once in a while. Kind of like Sweetie Pie. Or Cutie Pie.

[Bikingmomof3]

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

Isn't that a great way to think about wrinkles - its so true - all my happy times and memories - right there on my face for everyone to see how lucky and blessed I have been!

I'll paste it in its entirity below...




Old age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body ... the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4am., and sleep till nonn?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's and 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten . and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. I can say "no", and mean it. I can say "yes", and mean it.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free.

I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.

I like this! I find I become more content/happy with who I am as each year passes.

[mimitabby]

KSH,
I think your boyfriend meant you would look younger by firming up and stuff; he probably didn't think it would actually change your wrinkles.

and the guy who misjudged your age probably didn't even notice your wrinkles.. A lot of people (myself included) are pretty bad at guessing age.
So I do what a lot of folks do; i figure out how old someone is and then subtract 10 years so if they ask i will at least seem complementary; but i have NO IDEA!
even with little kids!

[Lise]

OK, I had a girlfriend who called me "Rodent Eyes". She seemed to think this was cute. And this was early in the relationship, not later on, when you snipe at each other! Rodent Eyes! I ask you!