Quote Originally Posted by spokewench
Maybe a shorter stem - don't know the length you have? Also, the tip above that I can't remember who said it - how much lower are your handlebars than your seat - take a level long one if you have it. Put it on your seat extend it towards your handlebars, make the bubbles center up. measure the distance between the handlebar and hte edge of the level. That is how much drop you have from your seat to the handlebar. You will want it to be about even maybe a little lower - If you need to come up with it, try adjusting this with a stem - they make stems that have different rises and in different lengths. Your bike shop should be able to provide different ones to try before you have to buy one.
Spokewench,
my handlebars are HIGHER than my seat!

I am older and don't want the extreme position... i definitely don't want much weight on my arms.

at the bike shop they gave me a new stem (SOLD ME i mean!!)
it's long and at an angle.

I guess what i'm saying here is that I don't think there's too much more modifying of the bike that can be done; it IS probably long for me; But i will try relaxing at the shoulders and bending my elbows..
My commute home is all uphill and less stressful on the hands anyway; a good chance to practice.