DDH
For many of us that are older (I am 54) the low posture of the racer is NOt a good idea.
you might read this article about sizing that Rivendell has on their website:
http://www.rivbike.com/html/bikes_framesize.html


your symptoms sound like the bike is not set up for you or it is the wrong size. How nice that DH is helping you with it!
Your neck hurts because it is not accustomed to holding your head in that posture! your girl parts hurt because you are too far down and forward. you should be on your sitting bones, not your crotch. Unless you want to race, there's no reason you can't have a more upright posture. I have exactly the same problem and am going back into the shop for the 4th time to fit myself
to a bike I bought a month or so ago.
m