Quote Originally Posted by Grog
Maybe another possibility...

Go with her on recovery rides and force yourself to ride her pace so you won't go too hard.

Go riding alone, do something hard - like hill reps - before you meet with her. You'll be more laid back... I do that sometimes: I send my partner on a tough hill ride for about an hour and then he picks me up at our place, he's happy with the hills and a bit tired, so we can ride together and I actually get to draft him towards the end.
That's a good idea - only problem is we meet around 5:30 after work to ride so there's no way for me to get some ride time in first. If you come up with any other ideas I'd like to hear them.