Joyful - keep at it! From your original post, it looks like you've been at this for about a month, right? If so, my guess is that you are almost through the woods in terms of the diet issues. I can't speak to the smoking thing because I never picked it up (growing up with a smoke-stack for a mom, kept me off it), but I had some AWFUL unhealthy diet and sleep habits. Almost 3 years ago I was at my highest weight (just shy of 170 on a 5'4" body) and I was WAY out of shape. I'd used to be an athlete too...so it was terrible knowing what to do to be healthy but then not doing it. I was addicted to sugar and caffene...I was sleeping like crap...I was stressed beyond normalcy...

Then one day, I got up, did an early morning workout (I picked an 'easy' one and it just about killed me!) and immediately felt emotionally better (even though I was sure I'd puke any second). The first month was awful...I got bigger, I weighed more, I was sore all the damn time, I was sleeping even worse and I was literally dragging my *** through my days. And then the clouds parted and birds began singing...well, sort of! There was definitely a clear point when I woke up one day and felt 'healthy'. I don't know what threshold I'd crossed, but it was definitely there. My guess is that you are also almost there.

Keep it up...it only gets better from here on out! I still struggle almost daily with the sugar addiction and I haven't completely given up caffene, but I am 200% improved. There isn't an athletic activity out there that I would shy away from right now...even though I'm still 25 lbs away from my goal. You have made a lot of tough choices, but you are doing it and you WILL get there. Patience is truly a virtue!