Demoralizing ride experience today, but it turned out OK in the end. The cycling group that seemed perfect for me has been evolving over the past 10 years. There is often a longer and shorter ride, which is fine, but the longer ride is always at a faster pace. I have always been on the edge of that pace, and I have gone out with these guys (some women, too) a few times over the past 10 years. Today I really wanted to do the long ride, as the shorter ride was advertised at a "relaxed" pace, which means slower than the "normal" pace for this group. So, what's happened is longer always = faster. I can't do 42 miles, with 2K feet of climbing at the faster pace, but I started out anyway. My friend, Jack, who I lead with for another club was sweeping and after about 5 miles, I stayed with him. I tried to abandon then, but he encouraged me and also said he'd go as slowly as I needed. I ride with him a lot, and he knows what I can do. But, after about 11.5 miles, I was at the point where if I continued, it was lots of climbing and I just was not having fun. I am feeling better than in the last few weeks, but my immune system is still wreaking havoc on my body, mostly when I ride. Then I get pissed at myself for being lazy. It's true I don't like to "train," and have been able to do what I want in almost every case. And this group (the faster ones) is almost all older than me, or my age... so I told Jack I was abandoning and I actually had a lovely, bit slower ride home. I had ridden to the start, so I didn't have to go get my car. Got in 27 miles, and despite the heat and humidity, most of it was shaded.
DH is telling me I need to be kind to myself, but it just gets me angrier when he does this, as he is riding more and getting very fast. I don't have time to do all of the modalities that helped me the last time I went through this (acupuncture, PT, massage, meditation), so I think I am going to pick one thing, which will probably be massage. I also don't feel as badly as I did a few years ago, I know I am not dying, and it will pass. It does seem to be related to the hot weather, and always happens near the end of the summer or early fall.