Based on what you said, and what everyone else recommends, I suggest the Romin Comp Gel. It's not like the regular more extreme Romins in that it is flat, and suitable for more upright riding, has a large cutout, and rubs the area you describe less than other saddles like the specialized Ruby and Toupe. They do not have this equivalent shape in the women's line. I've used both men's and women's specialized saddles, and they are essentially unisex.
http://www.specialized.com/us/en/ftb...n-evo-comp-gel
Also, you mention that your current saddle is quite large, have you measured your sitbones? Larger, more padded saddles tend to be more pear shaped. Could be making it worse.