Racial remarks from family

[DebSP]

Yes I have this same problem. I actually have had it twice. (I was married, divorced and am re-married) The kids dad's family was racist and made comments when we were there with our children. I limited the amount of time we spent with them. But I have to say, my kid's were not the least bit influenced by their behaviour. My kids (now 22 and 27) still go to family get togethers with them and then they come home and tell me stories some times and roll their eyes. The kids know that they are not going to change the ignorance of their family members. My current in-laws are also racist and I only see them once a year at Christmas. My MIL is in her 80's and she comes to our house for dinner more often. I had to tell her straight out one day that I am not racist and I don't want her to talk that way in my house. It is funny that both men were or are not racist even though they grew up in those families. I have talked to my husband about his family and his feelings about other races etc. He truly doesn't see people differently because they are of another race or religion etc. Considering how his family behaves, it would be pretty hard for him to hide that from me. They are brutal.

ETA: I just re-read OP. I go to the family Christmas get together because it is the one thing I can do for the man I married who is so good to me and so loving. He really loves his mother (warts and all) and it makes him happy that I go and pretend. He knows how I feel and he respects my feelings so that we go at the last minute and leave at the earliest possible moment.