We lost our 12 year old Burmese girl today. It all went very quickly. On Saturday afternoon she lost control of her bladder. At 1.00 on Sunday we took her to the vet, and she passed away naturally 23 hours later. At this stage the vets still aren't completely sure what was wrong. Her abdomen was full of fluid, and they think it may have been FIPV, which is incurable, or, more likely, it was some form of cancer (probably pancreatic) - also incurable. When we left her she'd stopped eating and drinking but was still walking around and talking. They put her on opiate painkillers overnight and rehydrated her, but she quickly lost the ability to stand up and became extremely lethargic. They didn't even have to sedate her for her ultrasound. The vet called at around 11.30 to tell me. I'd hoped to be able to bring her home for the night but they didn't think that would be possible, so my husband and I organised to be at the vet's at 1.00 to let her go. Of course she took matters into her own hands and left without us half an hour earlier. Instead we took her home in a box - looking very peaceful like she was asleep, and with a sprig of flowers in her paws. We've buried her in the courtyard and will now have to find something to plant there that we won't kill. We're not exactly green-fingered.

I wish I'd been able to have one more night with her, but she spent all of Saturday afternoon on my lap. On Saturday night when she'd lost control of her bladder she slept on the bed between us on a picnic blanket with a waterproof lining. So at least she had that one last day and night of cuddles.

I was surprised at what a wreck I was, but right now I'm feeling exhausted and kind of numb (oh, and it seems intermittently teary). We don't have any children so our three cats are our babies. We knew she was getting on, but obviously didn't expect to lose her so soon. There's going to be a big space in the bed tonight and I'll miss her sneaking under the duvet to curl up against my side. Lovely, lovely girl.