Quote Originally Posted by indysteel View Post
While I don't think that approach is totally invalid, I think there are some downsides--emotionally and financially--to a tit-for-tat approach. My husband and I have resorted to it a time or two ourselves, and it always feels a bit like blackmail to me. Plus, it obscures the bigger issues that might be at play. Can we really afford this purchase is one of them. Another is, do they suppport my desires/needs/interests irrespective of their own and vice versa? I ultimately think there are better ways to approach this kind of thing that will help to build more trust in a relationship.
It is tricky, for certain. DH bought a Mukluk last Fall. I never really paid much attention to the components on it, until I started looking at 29ers (since DS has pretty much taken over my too-small mountain bike). DH made noises to the effect that I should be happy with lower-end components when we choose my bike, even though his bikes all have higher-end ones (and he has 4 bikes to my 2). While I don't think tit-for-tat is always a healthy way to go, I also think there needs to be some level of fairness when it comes to a couple who shares a hobby. One person shouldn't always be expected to settle for entry-level equipment (with the excuse that they are noobs...in my case I may be a noob, but I've clearly shown that I'm not looking at anything cycling-related with anything other than intent to continue and improve as fast as I reasonably can, which is easier on better equipment, especially in terms of keeping up with stronger/faster riders) when the other gets to go hog-wild.