Quote Originally Posted by Anelia View Post
My husband wanted badly a new computer. His old one wasn't bad at all but he is a computer geek, too. So he cleverly used the fact that I bought a new racing mtn bike last year for about $ 1,5 k so I had nothing to do but agree with him. Before he put the things this way, I totally didn't see the point of buying a new computer but after referring to my bike, I got totally to his side and sympathized. Maybe you should try to explain it firmly: "you bought a new computer even having an old one and I deserve a new bike".
Nevertheless, my husband totally objects to my getting a roadie I want a road bike very much but I decided to copromise in order to keep the family together.
Good luck and I hope you'll get a new bike soon.
While I don't think that approach is totally invalid, I think there are some downsides--emotionally and financially--to a tit-for-tat approach. My husband and I have resorted to it a time or two ourselves, and it always feels a bit like blackmail to me. Plus, it obscures the bigger issues that might be at play. Can we really afford this purchase is one of them. Another is, do they suppport my desires/needs/interests irrespective of their own and vice versa? I ultimately think there are better ways to approach this kind of thing that will help to build more trust in a relationship.