I just need to vent. I had a setback over the weekend, and my (awesome) PT yesterday used the phrase "if this becomes chronic," and I'm just really frustrated over it right now.

As glad as I am that I don't have pain, it makes it difficult since numbness is harder to identify immediately. I'm rarely sure when I've done something to aggravate it. Plus, it doesn't necessarily respond immediately, either.

I'm frightened that it will progress, both by getting worse and by getting into the motor nerves. I've got some very slight weakness in my right hand. I'm really not sure about leg weakness, the PT didn't identify any on muscle testing, but at times my balance seems to be off.

I'm frightened that I'll wind up like my dad with his multiple failed back surgeries. (I think I would have to be on the point of paralysis before I'd even consider surgery, given his experience.)

I miss my bike. I miss my riding buddies. I'm afraid that I won't be able to travel since an hour in the car is pretty much my limit. Running short distances is actually good for it, but I haven't tried to carry water for longer distances, and I'm afraid of trying that, too. Plus I still really prefer to run alone - and if I wanted to run with people I'd have to drive to do that, too, which is problematic - so running really can't substitute for biking as a social activity for me.

It really seemed like everything was getting better, and now I've had this setback and I'm not even sure why (though we have a couple of theories - short flat easy bike ride (okay during, some flare about 8 hours later), then a car trip the next day to somewhere just 10 minutes farther away than the PT clinic, and it was the day AFTER that, that everything was really bad).

It's been almost three months since my neck injury and about five weeks since the back really flared (there was some very slight diminished sensation in the L5 dermatome before that).

Mainly I'm just venting, but if anyone has some words of encouragement I'd love to hear them...