I get what you're saying. The roads around here are a mix of suburban and rural--high speed limits, but high traffic density as well, probably higher than the roads were designed to take. And people drive like nut jobs around here. I get around it because we have a nice network of rail-trails around here, but not everyone has that luxury. (And riding around here scares me even more than riding around in urban/suburban Cleveland!)

I'd invest in some high-viz clothing for a start, and see if other nice people with bikes are willing to join you for a ride. Check out MapMyRide for your area (there are others) and see what looks good. Figure out when the low-traffic hours are, and if it makes you feel better, drive it beforehand. If you've got a friend willing to drive, even better, because that means you can concentrate on looking at the route from a cyclist's perspective.