Dear Mom-

I'm frustrated. Really frustrated. I put myself through college without your bothering to even pay the parent contribution, provided summer housing for myself during that time and worked to provide food/books/etc., with my partner's help been through law school and paid off almost all of the loans, and worked for a number of years. You've not been there when I moved (even in college), bought a house, when I could have used a shoulder, or when I needed financial help. Since I don't know when - probably sometime in high school - but even then, it was my grandparents.

Now - you expect me to come to visit you without my partner (because you can't be bother to deal with him despite the fact that he's a wonderful person who has give you no reason to dislike him) to help you clean up the wreck that is your life. Where were you when I needed you? Heck, where are you now? We're not having an easy time either with the economy, and are trying to clean out the crud you dumped on us so we can downsize if we need to. I could live without the guilt trips, and I really don't appreciate your trying to put a wedge in between me and the person I've been in a relationship with for 16 years (and married to for 11). Didn't you learn you lesson on that one after you wrecked my high school graduation?

Back off, and maybe, just maybe, we can have a relationship (though I don't think it will ever be normal, and it certainly won't be the 5 phone call a day nightmare you want).