Stuff you've learnt the hard way

[Owlie]

Do not dice 3 cups worth of hot peppers for salsa without gloves.
My hands are STILL hurting, and I did this 20 hours ago.

By the way, no, nothing works to stop the burn once it starts. The capsiacin oil has already traveled through all the outer layers of skin into the subdermis - so it's like closing the barn after the horse is out. It didn't keep me from trying though: vinegar, rubbing alcohol, benadryl gel, citrus, soap and water, bleach, aloe vera, burn spray, baking soda, milk.... NOTHING. I went to sleep clutching an ice pack.

OUCH. I did this with one jalapeno and my hands burned for most of the rest of the evening. I spent a lot of time running cold water over my hands.

Here's another one:
Bagel guillotines: Totally worth it if you're a klutz. Also, medical-grade superglue is really expensive.