Quote Originally Posted by Melalvai View Post
The guys just routinely forgot about us. My dad was the first sergeant, and I was not shy about complaining, so eventually they got a system in place, assigning a female to be present at all the staff meetings (even though she wasn't technically a squad leader), coming down hard on the squad leaders for being responsible for getting the info to ALL of their squad, and more women joined so it was harder to forget about us.

It's all little stuff, and it seems petty to complain about, but it adds up to create an unwelcoming environment.
This is what I experienced when I first went into private practice as a lawyer. Law school, itself, was diverse in terms of gender. In fact, I think there were more women than men. And my first job out, as a law clerk to state appellate court, was much the same way. From there, I went to a law firm that, at the time, had about 70 attorneys. For a variety of reasons, most of the young female attorneys that worked there had recently left, and I was the lone female associate for a period of time. There were a handful of female partners, but believe it or not, they weren't that much more supportive than the average male partner.

I felt very alone there. Some of my fellow associates were nice enough, but a frat house atmosphere prevailed. At one point, I caught wind of a summer party that a partner was throwing at his lake house to which I had not been invited. It happened to be the partner whose office was next to mine--the one who never remembered my name. One of the other associates called him out on it and, to my face, the partner explained that he thought I'd feel awkward as the only woman. Well, I likely would have, but thanks for making me feel even worse. This was 1999, so we aren't talking the dark ages of gender equality. I left soon thereafter. I think the firm has improved since this, at least I hope so.

I can tell you this. The mere fact that I had a lot invested in my career at that point did not make the environment any easier. I went into the firm really naively, as I'd otherwise never felt particularly discriminated against as a woman. So, in some ways, it might be better if your daughter faces some of these challenges while still in school. Hopefully, it'll help her develop some constructive ways to deal with it or, perhaps, make her carefully evaluate whether it's something she really wants to do.