The bar ends are nice, I must say. When I had a mountain bike, I put some Ergon grips with the bar ends and was skeptical. They are very comfortable, it gives a nice alternative to grab the handlebar.

Gloves help, but so does having a strong core, so you are not putting the weight on your arms. Have the bike shop check the width of your bars. They tend to be too wide for many women (relative to your shoulders) and that causes aches and pains.