Catrin, I think you and I are somewhat similar. I feel very risk averse compared to many people on TE, yet my friends think I am a crazy risk taker. I feel that my world has become somewhat narrow compared to some. I vacillate; there are some things I want to do, but I am stuck. I depend totally on DH for my income now, which, as I said before, is most unlike me! It has allowed me to change careers, but... today I am going on my second interview for a job that pays, well, about $35K. My last paid job was about 75K. I know I shouldn't find my self worth in my salary, but, to me, money is power in some sense. And independence. On the other hand, many saw me going back to school as a great risk taking adventure, but to me, school is very safe and comfortable. I've been in school since I was 3 years old!
I was pretty "wild" as a teen and I think my risk averse stance is somewhat of a rebellion against this. Also, I have had to fight my strong familial trend to be afraid of everything. I also think that the acceleration of technology has increased my risk aversion... hard to explain, but I feel like with everything being so connected and everyone using devices that I don't have or use, it makes me want to crawl into a corner and read my books!
But secretly, I want to do a lot of stuff, but it's like I don't have the will.
I've never been one to "follow the rules," so who knows where the future will lead.