I used to think that I had to excel at everything. Instead of just being a good doc I had to be an administrator as well. I tried being in charge of EMS in the city I was working in. I failed at that. I just wasn't interested in putting in the time, and I hated it. I still wince when I think about it. Then I tried working at a teaching hospital. But my heart wasn't in that either. I have finally come to understand that I need to play to my strengths. I'm a good "pit doc", and I enjoy it. So that's enough.

It's taken me a long time to realize that appearance (as in being important or in charge) is less important than substance (being good at what I do and being happy about it). I'm a much calmer and more content person for knowing that.

Now I'm looking toward what, if anything, I want to do when I retire, which will hopefully be in the next 3-5 years. I may just allow myself to do nothing.