Partly you probably just need to build up your core muscles. once you do that, you'll be able to support your weight with your core/back instead of leaning and putting weight on your wrists.
Until you do build up your core muscles, you're probably going to be happier in a more upright position (which is probably not what your tri friends are setting you up to ride in, they probably have you in an aggressive position)
There's a ton of threads on here on this...
Here's some things to check:
Your gloves - are they too tight on your wrists? How much padding is in them and does it work for you? I have to rip the padding out of my gloves or get gloves with leather palms, because padded gloves make my hands go numb.
Handlebar tape - you can put gel underneath it to make it more padded (fizik bar gel)
I use carbon fiber handlebars to control the vibrations that go to my hands/wrists. I also use handlebars with a flat ergonomic profile. For me this helps a ton.
Wrist position... When you are holding your handlebars, you don't want your wrists to be bending back at all. you want them in a neutral position... You can move where your shifters are on your drop bars so that when you are leaning over using the shifters on the hoods your wrists stay straight and don't bend back towards you.
You can raise your handlebars so they're higher up so that you're not putting a lot of pressure on them. Changing to a higher angle stem helps with that.
Grip - do not keep a death grip on your handlebars. Hold them lightly. Move your hands around a lot. Keep your elbows slightly bent.
If you show us a picture of you on your bike, we can give you some advice beyond this... But you don't necessarily have to get a new bike. A fitting probably wouldn't hurt.. And as you get stronger, things will get a lot better.




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