NY Biker, it sounds like we have similar saddle issues. I, too, am defaulting to a Bontrager Affinity. Not because it's ideal, but because it causes the fewest problems. I also thought that I couldn't use a cut-out, but discovered that my cut-out problems centered around "humped" cut-out edges like on the Terry Butterfly. I've tried other cut-out saddles with smoother cut-out edges that were better, but still not as good as the Bontrager for me.

A couple of the other saddle that you might consider are the Terry FLX & Specialized Jett. The FLX is supposedly geared toward an aero riding position but wasn't awful for my more upright position. Still, I determined after about 1 hour of riding that it would probably contribute to soft tissue chafing for me on longer rides. The Jett again wasn't awful, but not as good as the Bontrager Affinity.

I plan to try the SI Lady Diva with the channel, rather than the cut-out, next.