The calories don't count when . . . . .

[Duck on Wheels]

And, chocolate is brown. Mushrooms are brown. Mushrooms are a vegetable with very few calories. Obviously, then, chocolate is a vegetable with very few calories!

That's another one I've heard before -- that calories from anything brown don't count. That one and the evening-out-the-crooked-cut-pie one. Also a third: that they don't count if you're just finishing off those left-over bits that aren't enough for another meal and therefore not worth fridge space. After all, throwing out food is a sin, right?