lph, it SO sounds you're making a great decision. Your friend sounds like she has Borderline Personality Disorder. The leading book on it is called "I Hate You Don't Leave Me." Sound familiar? That's obviously a very arm chair diagnosis but Borderlines are darn near impossible to deal with. It's sometimes better to cut your losses and run for cover. Unfortunately, Borderlines ca be very charismatic, so it's sometimes hard to recognize their toxicity at first.

Good luck. I'm sorry you lost a friend. That's never easy.