Dear ex-friend,
I thought we had parted on somewhat amicable terms, without undue bitterness, and that we had agreed that breaking off all but random contact is the best thing. So why exactly did you feel the need to send me yet another e-mail telling me that you had deleted all of our considerable correspondence (and at the very same time waxing sentimental about the good old days)? And when I asked you to please not tell me stuff like that because it honestly hurts, why did you then have to reveal that you'd actually deleted it all earlier at some point but changed your mind? And when I repeated that I really don't want to be told this because it upsets me - why in the name of g*d did you have to tell me that you have now changed your mind, kept it all, and for what it's worth, you still consider me a friend. Nope. We broke up two weeks ago. To be absolutely technically correct - you broke up with me.

I'll hand it to you, though: this perfectly illustrates why I have to get away from you. You're generous and funny and a terrific friend when it suits you to be so, but your love of drama and self-pity way overshadows any true empathy you might feel. Just go away. I do not want to write any more posts on this thread about you.