Sounds like you just realized how satisfying it is to ride for you and not for someone else.

There is nothing written that says if you are a cyclist you have to ride XXX miles a week, keep training logs and maintain a XX mph average. After a while it's exhausting and takes the enjoyment out of it for me. It's good to challenge yourself and set goals as long as it's what you want to do and not what someone else expects you to do.

Flying down the road in a paceline is fun but all you see is the back of the person in front of you and the tread on his/her tires. Sometimes I just like to take my time and watch the sun come up or the turtles sunning themselves on a log. The journey is usually my focus, not the destination.

Enjoy riding for you.