Back to start over for the 3rd time.

[HermitGirl]

Instead of committing yourself to becoming a great and wonderful cyclist again, or committing to losing 50 lbs, why don't you try just treating yourself nicely? Don't look in the mirror, don't step on the scale, don't keep track of your speed or mileage. Don't push yourself. Just go outside and have a little fun on your bike going whatever speed feels good for as long as you want to go, and pay attention to how it affects your mood and how you feel about yourself. If you keep doing that, pretty soon getting exercise will become a nice thing you enjoy doing for yourself. Once you're really enjoying it again, like you used to, then you can start pushing it but don't lose track of the fun.

I hear you loud and clear StacySue. Oh, and the hot flashes, tempermental fussiness, bouts of depressiveness... it's all sometimes just Too Much To Deal (I'm 48). It seems as if my standard of accomplishment has just gotten so fragile and low, that seriously, I just can't remember back so far when my 'par' was endlessly higher. I can't compare myself or my life now, to back then, for that is just the reason which has made me ashamed and unable to start again. I must accept where I am NOW. So yes, just as you say, just learning all over to treat myself nicely is a giant step in the right direction. It will be difficult to not gauge my improvements, as yes, I look in the mirror all day it seems, whenever I pass by one, and step on the scale every morning, and when I ride, I check and document the few miles I did. I think that's okay, but as long as I do it with a smile in the mirror and an "I love you!", and a "Hoorah!!!" for the 3 miles logged, and a "Wow" if I haven't gained any weight. I know what you're saying. I'm teetering, and have been for years now, between going in a better direction, or worse direction. I feel like a berloody weather vane ! ;-)

I know for a fact from experience, that the act of just getting ON the bike and going forward, at any speed ~ just fast enough to keep upright ~ is for now, the biggest fitness goal I should have in mind. Getting to the start point, getting on the bike.... and whatever happens after that is of no consequence. I need to begin all over with "training my habit muscles", as I use to always say. thanks!