My story is not that as funny as yours, but I'll share:

When it was clear that my comfort bike wasn't what I needed to pursue cycling at the level I had in mind, I told my significant other that I'd taken the plunge and bought a road bike...

John: What?! Now you are going to leave me in the dust on my comfort bike!

Me: You spend a lot of time on the boat on weekends and aren't around to ride with...this will be for my solo rides. When we ride together I'll still use my comfort bike-if it will make you feel better.

John: But...with a road bike, you are going to be able to go faster and for longer rides.

Me: So???? Like I said, I'll be riding alone-I don't see how that threatens you.

John: Um...well...so are you going to end up being Forrest Gump-on a bike?