Well, here are two lightbulb moments (not very on topic, but funny)

I was called (I was on the bike...on topic) to a house to investigate a noise at the complainants front door...she stated an "animal or short person" was tapping at her door, over and over. It would stop briefly, then start again. I arrived and asked dispatch to call her and ask her to come to the door so she could claim her cardboard door flier (coupons and such) that was blowing in the evening breeze and tapping on her door.

I can't throw stones, because I was working the football game on the horse and the announcer blared over the PA "AND NOW THE CENTRAL HIGH MASCOT, RICKY THE JAGUAR, TAKES THE FIELD!" ...I am not even kidding, I thought to myself, "well, that's very risky." It took about two seconds before I realized it was, of course, not a REAL jaguar.

And they give me a badge and gun.