I hate to over-emphasize lubes, but it just seems like the ones you mentioned are the really sticky waxy-gummy ones (although I've never used Assos and not sure about that, the fact that it comes in a tub suggests it's pretty thick). Those never worked that well for me because they (1) mat the hair and (2) make a fabric-y chamois like PI stick to your crevices and chafe away.

I actually had the best success with Chamois Butt'r, but I stopped using it because of the paraben preservatives. Now I use Beljum Budder, which is a similar mayonnaise-like consistency.