Quote Originally Posted by bouncybouncy View Post
First of all I do NOT want this to sound like I am hubby-hatin'...I just need to get some fresh ideas on what to say to convince hubby I am trying to move forward motivationally speaking.

I recently went on an 860+ mile cycling trip (Astoria, OR to SanFran, CA) and had a blast, but when I got home I had a horrible case of the blues. It did not help that shortly afterwards my in-laws came for a 3 week visit where my FIL spend hours (into the late night) hammering away in the basement. ***don't get me wrong...I appreciate his hard work helping us finish our basement, but when I have to get up early the next morning to go to work I do not want the hammer pounding till 1 or 2 am !

Then the holidays hit and I was still in a funk!!! I managed to drag out some festive decor and ended up having a pleasant time thankfully! Unfortunately I spent several months sleeping a ton, crying for silly things, and just basically being depressed. I have taken steps to pull myself up and move forward but my hubby is resisting one thing I really want to do...

I want to take a few classes (ultra concentrated spinning classes on your own bike on a trainer while hooked up to meters and such...viewing a screen with the other cyclist in class...a virtual race) I have taken a couple classes last year and think it will kick start me into next season!

Well, hubby is arguing the cost...I personally can justify the $200 for reasons other than cycling (ego-boost, self-love, just basic happiness) but no matter what I say I can't get past the dollar signs in front of his eyes...

Any ideas on what words to use, phrases that break the $$$'s I will take anything at this point so I can rid the guilt I have! I am taking the classes guilt or not! I need it! I just want to go with a clear conscience!!!

Thanks gals...

***and no hubby hating comments please...he really is a great guy but something about this issue is getting to him!
Has he actually said "no."

It's hard to answer your question not knowing anything about your finances or how you and your DH approach financial decisions. Do you give one another veto power over expenses? Do you treat a portion of your respective incomes as disposable income that you can spend as you see fit? How much will the $200 eat into money you need for necessities?

IMO, the only thing you can really do is emphasize how much you think the class will help you fight the depression you've been suffering from these last few months. Impart to him that it's serious busines. While a cycling class may seem like a luxury, your mental health and happiness is not. At least that's my take on what you've shared. If it helps, tell him that the class in my area that is similar to what you've described cost $500+ for 8 weeks.

If you're like me, exercise is not a luxury; it's crucial to my mental health. While I try to watch the bottom line of what classes, gym membership and whatnot cost, I'm willing to spend a fair amount on it. I also spend $200 a month to see a therapist, so my mental health expenses do add up. I'm in a serious relationship and while I really want to make most financial decisions jointly should we get married, certain things may prove to be nonnegotiable. I would offer him the same leeway if I thought his health was really at issue.

Finally, it might be worth your time to ask your DH if the money is really what bothers him about the class. Could it be that he's projecting fear or frustration about what you've been going through lately?

Good luck!