Any ideas for a Tahoe mtb elopement/family issues

[TrekJeni]

The reason so many parents are upset when their kids elope is because it is very painful to be excluded from something so important in the life of someone you love. Perhaps it's a case of the parent being publicly reminded that things aren't the way they'd hoped between the parent and child. Perhaps it feels like a slap in the face to be excluded from the wedding after all the parents have done for the child. Perhaps it's the once in a lifetime nature (supposedly) of a wedding, and parents don't want to miss it. Perhaps they just want to share in the happiness. Perhaps the child really is too young, and really will regret it later.

Whatever the reason parents are upset about being excluded, whether valid or not, if you care for your parents in any way, you owe them an explanation of your feelings. Don't just slap them upside the head with it and say "we're not close". Take their feelings into consideration. Be proactive about what you want, and sensitive about how it affects others, because it does. And the wound can last a long time.

Karen

Hi Karen - I appreciate your honesty. I don't know if this was directed at me but I feel the urge to respond. My mother and I are not close. Never have been. She was in the living room with myself and my sister when I mentioned that Geoff and I were thinking about getting married. She briefly looked up from her game of Sudoku (or however you spell it) and then started filling in more boxes. Never uttered a word.

She's always been a stone when it comes to great things in life. My sister received the same treatment when she announced she was getting married six years ago. Same for when we both bought houses, graduated college and got great jobs. No "I'm proud of you", "I'm so happy", I knew you could do it", I can't wait to visit", nothing. Same thing in high school, "Mom, I think I want to be a vet, pilot, doctor, astronaut" was received with a "You're not good enough, smart enough, etc"...

Oh and I don't think I'm too young. Never been married, no kids and I'm 33. I've just ben waiting for the best! And it certainly helps he manages his fathers bike shop!!!