I think Mimi echoed what I already said. The marital relationship has to come before anything... kids, parents, your bike, whatever. Some people dedicate themselves entirely to their kids and then they wonder why there is nothing left in their relationship when they look around 18 years later and they have nothing in common with their spouse. Women feel guilty for taking time for themselves and see it as being selfish. I never felt like that and I recently learned that "self care" is an important concept in counseling. It's emphasized a lot in my course work. If you don't feel good about your own stuff, then your kids do pick up on that.
The best compliment I had was when one of my kids told me that we were an excellent role model for a good marriage. This was after I had told him that our friends were getting a divorce and he was "double checking" to make sure we weren't going to go down the same road. He was 21, so this stuff affects even grown kids. Then, about two hours later, my other son asked me the same thing when I gave him the news about our friends. So, you never know what the kids are observing as you interact with your significant other.