Mental Depression preventing me cycling

[OakLeaf]

I also have to make myself believe riding 10 or 12 miles is okay and it's not necessary to ride a gazillion miles to enjoy my bike.

You know what? Riding 2 or 3 miles is okay!

And - don't know if this is an issue for you or not - but cruising nice and effortlessly without breaking a sweat is okay, too.

In fact, it's fun - riding a bike the way we used to when we were kids, just for the pleasure of the wind on our faces and the feeling of movement. When I lived in town I would sometimes just cruise around the neighborhood "surveying my domain." I think a lot of us don't do that nearly enough anyhow, just finding the simple childlike joy in moving our bodies through space.

Maybe try just going for a ride in street clothes, planning on a really short one. Regular clothes don't get uncomfortable in just a few miles (as long as you cinch your pants leg or just roll it up). Sometimes just getting dressed in cycling clothes can seem like such a production - and then, when you've taken so much time to get ready, it doesn't seem "worth it" to just ride for a couple of miles. Wear your helmet and gloves for safety of course, but try just pretending you're a little kid again, and remember how it felt to ride a bike then.

Glad you saw the doctor, and I hope things start to turn around for you very soon. I do still think you should try and see a counselor. Keeping you in my thoughts and sending lots of hugs.