Stand up. Bend over about 90 degrees at the waist. Let your arms hang down, and your head hang down, and let gravity pull them down, but don't bend MORE than 90 degrees (use your stomach to keep you there).
That's about what you want to feel like most of the time on your bike, at least when you're cruising (you have to use more upper body when you're climbing, sprinting, pulling into the wind, etc).
So you are primarily keeping your body up with your stomach, not your arms. Try riding as low as you can in your drops, with your elbows bent 90 degrees. Notice how in that position, you can't use your upper body nearly as much to support you, you have to rely much more on your core. That's the feeling you want to aim for when you're chilling on the hoods too.
Except don't let your head hang down on the bike, of course.
I work vigilantly at this when I ride. Every couple of minutes I think "let your shoulders hang -- are your shoulders hanging?". Sometimes I will push my shoulders down as far as I can (and when I say down, I don't so much mean pushing in the opposite direction as my ears, I mean pushing my shoulder blades apart), and then relax and let them find a place. This helps for me...ymmv of course.
Alternatively, if letting your shoulders hang is hard to visualize, it may help to try visualizing letting your elbows hang between your shoulders and your hands, as if there is no weight on them at all (this is actually more or less how it feels when you are low in the drops with your elbows at a 90 deg angle, right? channel that feeling). When this works you really do perceive much less weight on your hands, and you end up with much less potential for shoulder/upper back/neck tightness. But if your core is jelly-like (as mine currently is), you may feel something unpleasant in your lower back. Situps/crunches will make a big difference pretty fast though.





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