A few thoughts on fit:

First, I agree that sitbone pressure from a saddle (and no soreness anywhere else) is just fine! Some saddles require a breaking-in period, plus your sitbones also need to get used to being back on a road saddle again. Get a little more cushioning from a better chamois and take it easy at first. Tilting the nose UP will distribute more of your weight throughout your crotch, which could help the sitbones, but it could make things worse towards the nose.

As for your hands, moving the saddle forward and down was probably the wrong way to go. Basically, you want the saddle fore-aft position to be far enough forward that if you take your hands off the bars (on a trainer), you won't fall on your face, with minimal extra support from your core. So find this point and then move it back a tad. This means you won't need your hands for support. This should roughly correspond to the position where your knee would be over the pedal spindle when at 3 o'clock. Some people like it back a little, some a little forward. So long as you don't have knee pain, you're in the right ballpark. From here, then you need to look at your saddle height to be sure you're square over the saddle and not hyperextending your knees or bottoming out too fast (forcing more heel drop than is natural for you).

As for hot spots on feet, they will get better with wider platform road pedals. However, even then, improper cleat positioning will still cause hot spots. A good rule of thumb for an average foot size is to have the first metatarsal joint (the ball of the foot under the big toe) around 5-8mm in front of the pedal spindle. That means the cleat is just behind the ball of the foot. Note that this may impact your saddle, because it impacts your reach to the pedals. So, change cleats first, saddle second. On hot days, you may also need to loosen your shoes over the course of the ride. Feet can get really cramped and sore, though this won't feel exactly like hotspots on the bottoms.

Now if you look at all of that and you still find you're upper body isn't doing the right thing, you may want to check your stem length and height. You may be all nice and balanced as far as the saddle goes, but you're getting too cramped or too stretched out by the bar position. Also, get some nicely padded cycling gloves to get rid of soreness from road buzz.