You people are the best. Seriously. Big collective hug.

Not sure what the language situation is right now. I was a Russian major and used to be moderately fluent. That's irony for you. (The Russian has all degenerated to allow me to recover my French. ).

I am going to ponder over your suggestions for the next day or 2 and then move into action on this.... I will let you know what I end up doing.

I wonder if they want a slightly used yellow lab puppy (ETA: with satanic devil eyes...)... NAH!