You guys have no idea how fearful I am that my son will be going over there. If we can get him graduated from high school, which is just a struggle, (he will be a junior next year, and he wants to get his GED and join the Army) I feel we will have accomplished something. We have him at New Mexico Military Institute in hopes that he will either get into WestPoint, Texas A&M, or two years at NMMI's junior college. Our goal is that if he is going to join the Army then go as an officer....but being a kid, and being awestruck by a couple of retired special forces guys who work at NMMI he is ready now. At least at NMMI he's learning to be a leader.

I swear that kid came out of my womb and popped a salute! Seriously though, I go through just absolute moments of depression, sinking fear, I feel like puking, and I guess it is to help keep my sanity, but I simply cannot watch TV right now, or at least the news, nor can I read about Iraq in the paper. It makes me sick at my stomach that I could lose my son, who, I think absolutely hung the moon. Yet, I cannot tell him he can't do something. I CAN do my best to keep him in school and hopefully college. Right now my biggest prayer is that all of this will be over before he graduates.....

....and you know writing this, I see how selfish I am. I am only thinking of myself and my son and our little family...but that is how it is for me at the moment.

I have somewhat of an idea what mothers must have felt when there was draft who had teenage boys. I don't even have to consider the draft, he's hell bent on going regardless.