Just wanted to post and see if anybody had any input:

my son is 10, and went to a classmate's birthday party last Sunday. They apparently had a nice time and made a suitable amount of noise .But when he came home he told us that only 6 kids had turned up, even though the entire class of 27 was invited. Which makes me feel sad, and when their teacher found out about it she had talked about it with the whole class how disappointed she was (when said classmate wasn't there).

OK, there are several possible reasons for not showing:
1. a few of the kids never come to birthday parties, possibly because of strictly religious parents
2. birthday party was on a weekend, when people often have other plans
3. the invitation was handed out late, 3 days in advance
4. there was no RSVP in the invitation and
5. parents did not phone to check if people were coming
and 6., maybe the biggie - said classmate is an outsider, a sweet but rather strange boy who usually only plays with a couple of the girls in class

So... what can you do about something like this? I don't KNOW that kids didn't turn up because they don't like him, but I'm guessing it had something to do with it, that they didn't put a high priority on it. And should you force a kid to go to a birthday party anyway?

We're lucky in that our son is a laidback type who's happy as long as he gets to stuff his face with cake, but what if he hadn't wanted to go?

And what can you do about parents who fluff the invitation, by sending it out late and without asking for confirmation? They were obviously expecting a lot of guests, because they had borrowed a large room and had made lots of food.

Any parents - or teachers - with good ideas? The teacher has already set one rule: unless the whole class is invited (or all the girls/all the boys) - no invitations at school. I'm thinking maybe she could add a reminder to invite a week in advance, and ask for RSVP. It's not her responsibility, but it could save a kid from feeling too left out?