We had the conversation. Without hesitation, both parents affirmed that they want NO effort made in prolonging their life.

Here's a challenge to each of you who may face this issue going forward. We spent a small fortune getting my parents affairs "in order" a few years ago. BUT, now so many questions remain unaddressed in all the documents that were signed.

Starfish kindly found and sent me copies of a document that her mother executed before her death. Here are specific questions that you might consider if you face this problem:
  • do you want cpr?
  • do you want any mechanical breathing assistance?
  • do you want artificial nutrician and hydration?
  • do you want major surgery?
  • do you want dialysis?
  • do you want chemotherapy?
  • do you want minor surgery?
  • do you want invasive diagnostic tests?
  • do you want transfusions?
  • do you want antibiotics?
  • do you want simple diagnostic tests?
  • do you want pain medication?


Some of these have easy answers, some are complex. While I think the consensus of all the posts here are in support of "having the talk", the devil's in the details...and I may have not even thought of some of these issues.

At the end of the day, my parents said to "keep them comfortable, but let them go..."

It's a tough day when the kids and the parents swap roles