I don't know if this will help, but in a martial arts class I took many, many years ago, we would practice kicks very slowly so that we could concentrate on proper form before beginning to put power into the kick. This lets us develop the corresponding muscles and form muscle memory. Our instructor insisted we learn proper technique from the get go since it's a lot harder to try to unlearn bad habits that form from not learning it in the first place.
Keeping this in mind I did a training ride where I was pedaling at a low rpm because like you I was having similar issues of my pedal stoke not feeling even and my form falling apart at higher cadences (and I knew it wasn't fit issues). I did okay at 72 rpm, but any faster and I felt bouncy. I pedaled at a slow enough cadence(~55rpm for me) where I could pay attention to my form and how much pressure I was applying throughout the pedal stroke. I practiced this for a while 'til I felt confident that I had the form down. I really feel this has helped me greatly. I've been able to spin at a higher and higher cadence since without really thinking about it. On my last ride I averaged at 82rpm (max 97) without feeling like I was over spinning. Even DH, who is a seasoned cyclist, commented that my form looked very good. So IMHO it has worked for me.
I wanted to add, as others have mentioned, make sure it isn't a fit issue first. It's worth the expense of having a professional fit done.
Good luck and have fun!![]()
~sg



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