I would have put less effort into trying to be liked, and liked myself more; sought out people who liked me for who I was. That lesson took too long to learn.

I would've been a little more adamant that my health problems get looked into when I was a kid. My back, joint, and stomach problems are not hypochondria.

I would've gone out for school sports. Even if I thought I sucked. I must not have if the coach stuck me in for important games. I would've gone on XC with Megan in junior high. Punker Megan who shared my birthday and always came in last but tried anyway. At that age, it doesn't occur to you to tell people how proud of them you are, just for trying. We just laughed together about her being last, but could tell she had fun.


Among the coulda-woulda-shouldas, we need to accept that life follows the path it does because of all the things in our past. Maybe not 'for a reason' or to a specific, pre-determined end, but our own personal experiences dictate so much of our lives, personalities, options and reactions to everyday existence. The universe saw fit to show me darkness before I could experience the light.