DDH
I have never had to diet to lose weight, so I haven't much to offer
besides just common sense stuff.
There was that amazing article in the NYTimes a short while back that talked about how much portion size is a mental image thing. Use smaller plates and you
feel like you ate the right amount just as you did with the bigger plate. But I think you already know this.
I would recommend a book to you which is less about losing weight than it is about lifestyle change; I hope you can find it and read it. I have gotten 3 people to read it already, and just mailed a copy to my sister who is nowhere near as valiant as you are
Younger Next Year for women. Please try to read it, it's full of great sensible ideas which will help you to get to where you want to be.

so my heart goes out to you
mimi