Lisa, I'm encouraged to know that you haven't had any problelms with a 50 mm stem. I, too, continue to feel like a bit too much weight is in my hands. I tend to place my hand just in front of the hoods; I'd just as soon keep them in the hoods. I've actually had a professional fitting, and the fitter wanted me to ride the bike with the 90 mm stem for a while before readdresssing the reach issue. I think I may reapproach the issue with him next spring. My core has gotten stronger and, assuming that I'm keepoing my back flat and "lifted" from my hips," I don't feel as stretched out. All the same, I would like to try to a shorter step.

But back to the original poster. I'm sorry to hear that your LBS doesn't know how to fit women. My advice would be to try another LBS (if you have one). I, personally, am a bit of an LBS "*****." I've shopped or talked to the guys at about five of the stores in my area. Each one of them has provided helpful advice/service and none of them have batted an eye over the fact that I didn't buy the bike from them. Even if your LBS doesn't understand female fit, explain to them that you're experimenting with reach and that you'd like to try a couple different stem sizes. See if they'll let you try them out before actually buying one. Short of that, just go ahead and buy with a stem that's 10-20 mm shorter than the one currently on there. Generally speaking, it's better to make changes to fit/set up gradually so that your body has time to adjust.

Good luck w/ the stem (and dental work). I'll be interested to hear what you decide.

Kate