So I've only been to my church Danskin team meetings once.

I've been hanging out with Team Survivor (which I found out about because of going to the church meet, so I guess in a Unitarian cosmic kind of way it's all good) but not regularly because health care workers have such weird schedules and I miss a lot of stuff.

I'm doing some training with one of my dearest and oldest friends, but only when our schedules match.

I keep forgetting stuff (like swim dates with other Team Survivor folks) and it's not even spring, which is the usual season for forgetting things and being dizzy and losing left-side co-ordination and running into walls, so what gives? (yes, I know, benign seasonal MS, gonna see an MS specialist in 1 1/2 weeks, yadda yadda)

I have PMS.

The Danskin isn't a "real" triathlon because there are "swim angels" and embarassing to others "girlie" cheeleading for all the first timers and cancer survivors.

It still takes me more than 1/2 hour to swim 1/2 mile in open water, and I get water up my nose, and any stroke other than a left-sided side stroke is utterly exhausting. And I make motorboat noises when I breathe. And snot seems to magically appear at my nose after every big wave. And my nose ring gets twisted. And lake algae ends up glued to my boobs. And I do have to stop and rest at least 3 times.

I still don't show up on the Danskin registry list. We first-time cancer-survivor-get-in-free babes are supposed to show up on the list 2 weeks before the race. I want to see my name there NOW, dammit. Not the day after tomorrow. NOW. Dang, if I don't show up on that list I will have a major fit. I registered (twice, thru Danskin and Team Survivor) back at the very beginning of March.

I wrote a "why I tri" essay for Danskin back in March, and I never got my free goodie for doing that. And it was a darn good essay. I knew that BA in English would be good for something. So I want my free Danskin socks. Or whatever. I want a free goodie!

I know I can swim 1/2 mile, ride 12 miles, and walk 3 miles. I'm just not sure I can do all three in a row.

How do y'all cope with the despair?